Some slimy scum-sucking bag of pus out there made himself a new enemy on Saturday night. I went out to the car on Sunday to head to the grocery store, and some miscreant had thrown an egg at it and connected. No other cars I could see in the neighborhood had been egged, just mine. I suspect teens and am currently plotting revenge. Plotting more fervently than usual, I mean.
Scene: in car with family, driving to the grocery store. Daddy slightly fuming.
Jr VP: Mommy, why is Daddy so mad?
Mommy: “Because some bad person threw an egg at Daddy’s car.”
Jr VP: We should find that person and BURN DOWN THEIR HOUSE!!
Mommy [rolling eyes and groaning], to Daddy: “This is your fault you know.”
Daddy: I know.
Jr VP, warming to his topic: AND THEN WE WILL MAKE THEIR CAR BLOW UP AND THEY WILL BE COVERED IN FIRE!!
Daddy: That is going a little too far Stinkboy, but if we figure out who did this we’ll get them somehow. You up for a late night flaming-bag-of-poop delivery if we can figure out who to deliver it to?
Mommy: “Please stop talking. Both of you.”
If you are between the ages of 14 and 19 I would recommend not coming by the HQ for a while as you will be viewed as a suspect. Sorry.
