I hope that this anecdote is not cited 10 years from now by the court appointed psychologist. As the CFO may be quoted in the paper at that time: “The signs were there, but we just didn’t see them. Or maybe we were in denial. Or maybe I was still listening to the CEO.” On to the story:

On the drive home today it was just me and the Jr. VP; his brother stayed home today at the HQ because it looks like he has pinkeye. Again. Awesome.

Scene: CEO and boy in car on the way home after ’school’.

Jr.: Daddy, when we get home what if there are monsters at our house that want to eat me?”

Daddy: “Don’t worry about it. I will jump in front of you and tell those monsters to leave and never come back. Nobody takes a bite out of Stinkboy on my watch. Nobody.”

Jr.: [seeming slightly displeased] But what if the monsters still try to eat me? Will you kill them? Big emphasis put on the word kill.

Daddy: [a little bit alarmed] “Not at first anyway. I reckon I will tell the monsters still there that any monster that don’t wanna get hurt better clear on out the back. Whoever is left after that has declared their intentions.”

Jr.: Then what will you do?

Daddy: “Well, I’ll fight the monsters and you can help if you want. We’ll push them all outside and then we’ll lock the door. And maybe afterwards we’ll commemorate our victory over the monsters with the mixing of chocolate and milk.”

Here is where I got a significant bit more worried:

Jr.: NOOOO!!!No pushing! You should grab the monsters and take a very sharp knife and cut off all of their skin. Then you should break every single one of their bones! And then we both should shoot them until they are DEAD!!! Do that!!!

Daddy: [where the hell did that come from?] “Oh my. Umm, I think harsh language is probably what I am going to try first but I will certainly keep your suggestions in mind. Is there anything else you want to talk to me about little buddy?”

Jr.: No Daddy. Tell me a story about Spiderman . . .

I am little nervous. This is normal right? I hate monsters as much if not more so than the average guy and I admit to fostering an anti-monster atmosphere at the Kjel.org HQ to a point that is probably prejudicial. Still the details regarding the violence the lad wants to visit on the monsters is troubling. Kjel.org may need to enroll the Jr. VP in some sort of monster outreach program or something. I’m sure we could all get along if only we just better understood each other. Or if those goddamned monsters could just leave us alone.