When it finally happened the deal went down quick. There were offers and counter-offers; the CEO was required to rapidly research certain aspects of tax law and then do a few back of the envelope (back of my left hand with a sharpie, actually) time value of money calculations and what not. Turns out it all made sense. Kjel.org accepted an offer to sell the current HQ this last Friday. Not the price we wanted, but in this market we are happy to get it done at all. It looks like my plans for faking my own death were perhaps a wee bit premature, but I won’t actually exhale until the closing documents are signed. And I get paid.

Why am I praising the 21st century (and Jebus)? : I did the majority of the above negotiations while standing ankle deep in Lake Chelan helping a certain three year old build an annex to the giant sand castle we’d constructed earlier that day. “Daddy, more mud!” Ring! “Sorry Stinkboy, gotta take this.” Hello? Hmm. Okay. Tell them no on #1, no on #2, and yes on #3. When they come back we’ll bend on #2 if need be but not on #1. “Where was I? Oh yeah: Stinky, here comes the mud!!”

Not much later I was knee deep in the lake chasing ducks with the Jr VP when I had to actually yell “sounds good — do it!” into the phone: the other kids playing in the water were very loud and my people in Portland couldn’t hear me otherwise.

Years ago this sort of deal would have required six people around a conference table for several hours at least. The deal for me the other day? No table. Sun, water, sand castles, harrassed ducks, lime flavored alcoholic beverages, the prevention of drowning for certain small boys, and modern mobile phones. Advantage, 21st century.

The sale of the current HQ closes Aug 11 if everything is found to be in order. If anyone should contact you asking about the HQ or for details regarding certain members of Kjel.org you just say “no comment” and then call me. Gracias.