This thought process today took the CEO about 3 seconds: Sweet! I own two houses! Brief pause. Fuck, I own two houses!
I’m sure everything will be fine. At least until November, when if a certain house in far SW Portland is still unsold the CEO might die in a mysterious boating accident, the body never to be recovered.
Unless certain finance officers come to their senses in the next 24 hours, Kjel.org will get a key to HQ2 at some point tomorrow. If you are in the Garden Home area on Saturday give me a call and then come on over. If you ask super-nice I’ll even let you help unload the storage unit being delivered tomorrow.
So, uh, any of you know anyone who might want to buy a smallish but nice house in far SW Portland? I’ll throw in 5 pounds of home-made beef jerky. And a new fridge. Anyone?
My carbon footprint is as big as it has ever been!
The CEO flew to L.A. this morning on business. I flew back tonight. That is a long (and expensive, but it wasn’t me paying) day, especially for what was basically a two hour meeting. A few high points from the day:
1. Travelling with no luggage is awesome. My flight left PDX at 6:40; I got to the airport at 6:00 and still made my flight no problem. The snooze button very nearly got the best of me today, but 85 mph on I-84 can make up for a fair amount of snoozing.
2. I had the aisle seat on the way down. The couple next to me were obvioulsy very much in love. Or horny as hell. A lot of kissing noises were heard and a lot of movement was observed via peripheral vision. Movement that could best be described as stroking. I kept my head down in my book. The lady next to me might have been pregnant by the time we landed at LAX. I was certainly spent.
3. Our company has a car service they contract with since there are a lot of employees going into and out of various L.A. airports at any given time. Somehow my information got slightly messed up: there was a driver waiting at the end of the gate holding up a sign for a “Mr. Shel”. I eventually figured out that he was looking for me; he drove me to the office. My new job is going to require me to periodically show up in L.A., so I was sure to be nice to to the driver. Tino and I might be seeing a lot more of each other.
4. It was raining in L.A. I’d never seen that before. CEO’s brain as I stepped out of the car: Whoa, that’s not smog, those are actual clouds. I didn’t think they had those here.
5. The CFO, meanwhile, took the Intern to the doctor this afternoon. He may have Chicken Pox, but the doctor couldn’t be sure yet. Sweet. Because, you know, Kjel.org doesn’t have enough other stuff going on. Luckily the CFO and I have had the Pox already, and the Jr. VP has been vaccinated, but if you haven’t had it you might think twice about visiting the HQ in the next few days. On the flip side, if there is anyone you want to infect the Intern is available for rental at very reasonable rates. Contact me for more details.
6. Quickie breakfast in Portland, business lunch in Los Angeles, late dinner in Portland: my schedule today looks like one that I might have to pull once a month or so for the foreseeable future. Screw that. I am going to start spending a night down there when I have to. The CEO desperately needs his beauty sleep after all. Desperately.
7. Anyone want to buy a house?
“Of course we should pack up the air conditioner. There’s no way we’ll need it in May. This is Portland after all . . .”
–the CEO, April 26th
The newspaper sometimes makes me feel better about myself.
The only thing surprising to me about this story is that I’ve never done the same thing. It’s good that the CFO accompanies the Kjel.org boys whenever they travel:
Forgotten toddler found wandering Vancouver airport after family boards flight
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — A family left a 23-month-old boy in the Vancouver airport and learned he was missing only when contacted during the next leg of the trip. Jun Parreno, the boy’s father, told The Vancouver Sun the mix-up occurred Monday as he, his wife and two grandparents of the child, J.M., were scrambling between their arrival in Canada and a connecting flight to Winnipeg on Air Canada. Running late after having to unpack and repack all their luggage, “we had 10 minutes before boarding,” said Parreno, who was emigrating with his family from the Philippines. “We were running for the gate.” He said he thought his son was with the three other adults, who were running to the gate ahead of him, and they thought the little boy was with him.
Kjel.org is finding out that the process of selling a house that you are still living in is really no fun. This piece in yesterday’s Oregonian sums it up pretty accurately:
Real Life: Strange new world of selling your home spurs surreal existence
Sellers, I feel your pain. This week I joined the tribe of nomads known as “sellers still living in their homes” — allegedly at least. I say “allegedly” because, like most sellers in the current market, my house no longer resembles my home, nor is it someplace I can hang out whenever I like.
Yes, my home looks better (for the most part) than it ever has, after three months of work by me and my family; personal organizers; a contractor; window, house and carpet cleaners; landscapers; a home stager; my Realtor; and even my Realtor’s husband.
But it’s also a place that must look perfect every day after 10 a.m. and a place where my son and I can’t be during open houses or showings that can occur at a moment’s notice. That’s where the nomadic part comes in.
Eating has become problematic. It produces dishes that must be immediately washed and put away, crumbs that must be wiped off, toasters and knives that aren’t allowed to be seen . . .
On the plus side there seems to be people interested in seeing the place; now I just need one of them to get suckered into actually buying it.
Thursday morning, 12:30 AM, Bourbon Street. CEO’s brain: Oh shit what the hell am I doing here? How is it that me and a bunch of guys I only sorta know through work are walking down a street full of only bars and strip clubs? Wait, what, I’m carrying a mixed drink? Where’d that come from? Why do all the girls waving at us look so naughty? The guys I’m with all seem pretty drunk; am I that drunk? Brief stop for a self assessment. Oh fuck. It was downhill from there (absinthe and a Def Leppard cover band still awaited us that evening) but I managed eventually to get back to the hotel and was functional for the 10:00 meeting the next day. Not optimal, but functional.
Friday morning, very early. Repeat. House of Blues and whatever bars are between them and the W Hotel in N.O. Apparently late in the evening I tipped a bartender $20 because I thought he made a fine gin and tonic. It was that kind of night.
It was a productive trip but I, my family, and whats left of my liver are thankful that the CEO is now home.
