The Good
Kjel.org learned yesterday that the city of Portland will not be going forward with paving our side-street (against our will) and then charging us for it. “We’ve determined that effected property owners are against the formation of the proposed LID, and as such we will not be moving forward with it.” Amazing the persuasive power a few flaming bags of dog poo delivered to City Hall can have. Now, if I can just run the evil sea hag who proposed this thing out of my neighborhood everything will be hunky-dory.
The Bad
Either the boy is getting smarter or I am getting dumber, or more likely, a combination of both. I used to be very good at anticipating what sorts of things would be trouble and removing them from the Jr. VP’s immediate world. For example, the lad likes baseball, but for Jebus sake don’t ever let him see a real-life baseball bat unless you are outside and prepared to play. Dents in walls and shins come into being otherwise. Or don’t let him start throwing things, or playing hitting-type games, because he doesn’t always know when to stop. Lately though it’s like I’ve got the IQ of a starfish, and not the smart one in Finding Nemo. The lad and I were messing around the other day and I let him stand on the kitchen table. Guess where he wants to stand all the time now? We were then playing a game where I drop legos on his belly and he tries not to laugh. Guess what 3-month-old is now having crap dropped on him while another boy yells “Too fun!”? Maybe tonight on the way home we’ll start playing games with the emergency brake in my car, or maybe I’ll show him how a lighter works or something.
The Ugly
At the HQ urine has lately been an issue for the junior members of the Kjel.org team. The other day, through some miracle of mechanics the Intern used his little fireman to put out a pretend fire on his Mom, decorate the walls in his room, then, as a grand finale, let fly with a little bit into his own mouth. Lovely. Even retelling the story the CFO almost gagged. I’m sorry I wasn’t home to see it.
It is high time that the Jr. VP learn how to use a toilet; I think I realized this when an Amazon shipment of diapers arrived that neither the CFO or I had ordered. I was almost out! the lad exclaimed. Lousy one-click ordering process. Anyway, at the CFO’s insistence I’ve been letting Stinkboy watch while I take care of business matter #1. The problem? The Jr. VP loves playing with hoses and squirtguns, and wants to touch any water (or hose) that he sees. In the situation described above I enforce a very strict look-but-don’t-touch policy. Jr. sees this as a challenge, and I end up dancing around the toilet so as to box him out (like we were fighting for rebounding position) all while trying to complete my business without making a mess, if you catch my drift. Jr. might be learning something in there with me but I’m not sure it’s how to use the toilet.
