–Homer SimpsonKids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the Internet and all.
The Jr. VP often will put on a shy act when we are out and about and a stranger asks him a question. Saturday when he and I were at the hardware store (where I bought the only almost lethal booby-trapped flashlight. Ha! You’ll have to try harder than that, Chinese assassins!) the clerk saw his Ichiro shirt and asked him if he liked the Mariners. No response. The clerk then asked who his favorite player was. Nothing from the boy. Finally the clerk just exclaimed “Go Mariners!” At this the Jr. VP smiled and yelled Boo Yankees! and then looked for high fives all around. The clerk and other people nearby were exceedingly impressed. “You’re raising that one up right.”
It’s a good thing he didn’t use the term “Skankees” like I’ve been trying to teach him; my heart might have actually exploded inside my chest instead of just swelling up with pride like it did. I’m equally glad that the phrase Fuck the Yankees! didn’t come out of his mouth.
