The CFO and the Intern were in Seattle Friday and Saturday night. So what are Daddy and a boy to do while Mommy is out of town? Friday night we got a pizza and watched movies. Saturday, he got up early to watch TV; I got up with him but fell back asleep on the couch. On the couch I was having a dream in which I was getting beaten up; I awoke to find the Jr. VP sitting on my back and kicking me with his ball-peen-hammer-like heels. About one o clock or so the Chief Educator came over and the three of us spent the next five hours watching football and drinking tequila. We also ate an entire bag of pizza rolls. A parenting side-note: In a child sized plastic cup you can mix one part Mr and Mrs T’s margarita mix with one part cold water, garnish it with two ice cubes, and present it to your toddler as “lemonade.” I was a little worried that Jr. would ask me to salt the rim — tough to do on a sippy cup.
Sunday morning we packed a lunch (pizza, of course) and headed down the street to the park. The skater punk teens were well behaved today, but there was one obnoxious 12 year old going around to all the parents at the park and asking them if they wanted to buy toys from him. This kid looked a lot like Chunk from the Goonies. He had a collection of toys laid out on a blanket, and would say stuff like: “Hey excuse me! You have kids right? Don’t you like to buy stuff for them? What, you don’t want to buy toys for them? They aren’t very expensive if that is what you’re worried about. Why won’t you even come over here look at them?” I hope that the kid was selling his brother’s toys; that would almost make his obnoxiousness acceptable. When he tried his spiel on me I asked to see his City of Portland business license. And then told him he could go to jail if the cops showed up here (that last bit of inspiration hit me when I saw a cop car pulling off 49th to cruise down the street between the library and the park). If there is anything better than messing with an irritating 6th graders head, the CEO hasn’t found it.
Then we went home to await the CFO’s arrival and do a quickie pick-up at the HQ, trying to hide the evidence of our recent depravity. Mission accomplished.
