Look, I’ve bitched before about people I’ve had to sit by on airplanes, but at least none of them (as far as I know) was smuggling a monkey under their hat. Or was it a monkey stow-away, testing human airport security? Hmmmmmm.

Passenger hides monkey under hat, smuggles it onto airplane
NEW YORK (AP) - A man smuggled a monkey onto an airplane Tuesday, stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it perched on his ponytail, an airline official said. The monkey escapade began in Lima, Peru, late Monday, when the man boarded a flight to Fort Lauderdale, Fla., said Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell. After landing Tuesday morning, the man waited several hours before catching a connecting flight to LaGuardia Airport. During the flight, people around the man noticed that the marmoset, which normally lives in forests and eats fruit and insects, had emerged from underneath his hat, Russell said. “Other passengers asked the man if he knew he had a monkey on him,” she said.

Man it would suck to have a monkey on you and not know about it. I’m not sure whether the other passengers were considerate to mention it, or if the monkey might have been one of those things that would be more polite to just ignore, like you would an unruly nose hair or an undone zipper.