The Jr. VP is coming unraveled a little bit. His universe has exploded after all; I suppose I’d do the same. The smallest thing can now bring on tantrums:
Yesterday evening the Jr. VP looked at me and the CFO and very clearly said “Where’s Colonel Klink?” It didn’t register at first. CEO: “Huh? Where’s your caramel drink? What’s a camel think?” “Colonel Klink?!” Say What? “DADDY STOP! (said in Monster voice to show he’s serious) WHERE’S COLONEL KLINK!!” I looked at him, shook my fist, and said “Stiinnkkboyyyy!” like Klink might have said to Hogan. Jr didn’t get it. Finally it dawned on the CFO: Stinkboy was looking for his book about one Homer Jay Simpson, which happens to include a page about Homer’s Heroes, one of which is the good Colonel. Luckily the book was found and a meltdown averted. I’m sure there were several other two-year-olds in town last night asking about the location of Colonel Klink.
One meltdown that was not averted: the other day during a tantrum he was screaming “No Cookies!” The lad had a small bowl of cookies that he did not want to eat for some reason. No cookies? Who are you and what have you done with my son? My real son begs for cookies and would eat them until he barfs, and then eat more cookies until he barfs again. And then repeat the cycle again. And again. And probably one or two more times after that. Things must be really awry in his universe if the Jr. VP is refusing cookies. Sorry boy.
At least when Jr. is having a freak-out he is only mad at Mommy and Daddy; the Jr. VP loves his little brother. So far anyway. Example from last night:
When the Intern starts to cry the Jr. VP will often drop whatever he is doing and rush over to help. “Baby needs a paci!” (as the pacifier is called in the Stinkboy lexicon — pronounced “passy“) Jr. then immediately turns to the CEO and says “Daddy, Baby’s crying! Help!” Daddy grabs the paci and inserts into the Intern’s mouth; said baby is now happy and quiet. While I am doing this Jr is saying to the Intern: “it’s OK Baby, Daddy’s gotcha, it’s OK!”
If you don’t have kids you might not understand but I damn near teared up at that one. Then I watched Horacio Ramirez give up a three run go-ahead homer to the Texas Rangers and a few tears did actually run down my face. Stupid Mariners. Good Stinkboy though.
