We are almost to the one week point of having the new lad at home, so I believe it is time for a Kjel.org retrospective on the week that was:

Thursday the 12th.

We show up Thursday morning at the hospital. To say that the CFO was ready to be not pregnant anymore is the understatement of the year or quite possibly the decade:

Everything went pretty smoothly and by 2:00 or so Mommy and Baby were in the recovery room, recovering. Mommy was much more lucid then she was last time, as was Daddy. The reason? My advice to any good sirs reading this is that should your lady ever have a c-section stay north of the curtain. Last time I peaked over and saw a doctor scooping into the CFO’s guts with what looked like a garden trowel. A surgical trowel, at least, but still a trowel. I threw up a little bit in my mouth at that. It was a mistake I did not repeat this time.

The baby, fresh out of the oven. Representin’. Word to the A.K.:

Friday the 13th.

Mommy and baby spent the day chilling out at the hospital:

Saturday the 14th / Sunday the 15th.

The CFO and Baby check out of the hospital on Saturday and head home. I even give her a ride. We have visitors for what seems like forever over the weekend and then finally we get a bit of peace and quiet by late Sunday afternoon. The CFO is commanded in no uncertain terms to sit, but she keeps wanting to do stuff. Unbeknownst to her I increase the dosage on her narcotics and she becomes passive like a little lamb. Perfect. By early Sunday evening I leave the CFO and various boys inside sleeping, pour myself a double (I think I earned it) gin and tonic and head out into the twilight to water the couple of plants still alive at the HQ. Quite a pleasant evening.

Monday the 16th - Friday the 20th.

Early in the week it is beginning to dawn on the Jr. VP that the Intern isn’t “going home” or leaving any time soon. He is generally OK with that, and even hysterically funny at times (I’m a baby! Waaaaa! Then he grabs for the CFO’s boobs. . .), but also a bit troubled. Stinkboy is used to undivided attention, and there’s just no way to provide that anymore. Plus, since the new Intern sleeps all the time (except when you want him to, like, say, at night) Mommy and Daddy (but especially Mommy) are pretty tired most of the time and just can’t handle him. Thank God for TV. And for cookies. And for naps for Mommy. And for the Jr. VP remaining in “school” during the day. And for Delivered Dish.

My office has been very accommodating this week, but I really can’t do half days like I have been for too much longer. It’s not like I work for a college or something. As the wise ghostbusting sage Dr. Ray Stantz explained: “Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities, we didn’t have to produce anything! You’ve never been out of college! You don’t know what it’s like out there! I’ve worked in the private sector. They expect results.” And my pals in the industry have been cool too: take a look at this. Who knew I was so nice?

All in all, a decent first week. The Baby is fine health-wise and still getting the hang of the whole “hey look, I’m alive” thing. Mommy is feeling OK and is developing a very nice Oxycodone addiction. I may need to roll a few street people next week when her prescription runs out. The Jr. VP is soldiering on as well as he can, but he is the Best Boy in Town (claims to be, anyway) so I have a feeling he’ll be fine. And the CEO? Frankly, he’s never been better.