There are certain words that you just can’t say around the Jr. VP. It’s only common sense not swear around a 2.4 year old who likes to repeat things at the top of his lungs; even after the Jr. VP went to bed last night I continued to spell the bad words. I didn’t want to offend the CFO after all, as I was saying very very bad words.
There are also words that one cannot say because they remind the lad of something that he’d rather be doing, and then he gets upset that he’s not doing it. The perfect example of this is the word “park.” If Jr. hears the word he immediately thinks of slides and swings and wants to go, and unless you are then and there prepared to take him to a park he will be most unhappy with you. For a long time the CFO and I could simply spell out words like that instead of speaking them, but the lad is too smart. Hell, the other night the CFO said something about the C-A-M-E-R-A and Jr starting yelling Camera! Camera! Freaked out the both us a little bit, though I’m not yet ready to think that Stinkboy can now actually spell.
So now, maybe on a Saturday morning, I have to say something like this to the CFO: Perhaps we should go to the cleared out grassy area featuring suspended seats on chains and the tall slippery metallic thingies? * Talking like this currently gives us an option to go or not go to the park without the associated tantrum risk. This works for now, but again, I fear the Jr. VP’s brain. The CFO and I really need to come up soon with a system of code words and ciphers.
* Describing a playground slide to an extent that someone will know what in the hell you are talking about without actually using the word “slide” is more difficult than you might think.
