I don’t know that I see the Jr. VP with a future as an railroad designer: note that his track design would likely result in horrific derailments and passenger injury, or at least severe queasiness from all aboard due to all those unnecessary curves.
Looking good, Stinkboy! Feeling good, Daddy!
Mean Daddy update: the boy asked me the other day for money to buy a Mothers Day present for the CFO. I gave him $5 and told him I expected change. A lot of change.
This story creeps out the CFO beyond measure. I’m happy to include it here for her and everyone else’s benefit:
ALBANY, Ore. (AP) _ These guys weren’t exactly Snap, Crackle and Pop. What began as a faint popping in a 9-year-old boy’s ear _ ‘’like Rice Krispies'’ _ ended up as an earache, and the doctor’s diagnosis was that a pair of spiders made a home in the ear. ‘’They were walking on my eardrums,'’ Jesse Courtney said. One of the spiders was still alive after the doctor flushed the fourth-grader’s left ear canal. His mother, Diane Courtney, said her son insisted he kept hearing a faint popping in his ear _ ‘’like Rice Krispies.'’ Dr. David Irvine said it looked like the boy had something in his ear when he examined him. When he irrigated the ear, the first spider came out, dead. The other spider took a second dousing before it emerged, still alive. Both were about the size of a pencil eraser. Jesse was given the spiders _ now both dead _ as a souvenir. He has taken them to school and his mother has taken them to work. ‘’It was real interesting, ‘cause, two spiders in my ear _ what next?'’ Jesse said.
The CEO hates clothes shopping. Of things I wear that were actually paid for, the vast majority were purchased over the internet. Sometimes though, it just can’t be helped. And the CEO is in a spot where it can’t: I have a wedding in LA to attend in a few weeks, and I don’t currently own pants that are fancy enough for the occasion.
I learned a while ago that when I do actually need to get something nice, don’t skimp. So Sunday morning I took myself to the Washington Square Nordstrom and put myself in their capable hands. The people working in the Men’s Fine Furnishing department are absolute pros with the clothes, but also very adept at making you feel like a gentleman. In most parts of Nordstrom I am fairly out of my element anyway, but that particular corner? It’s like a different world. I was called “sir” more times than I can recall, and this time it wasn’t even preceded with “please sit down,” or “you’re making a scene.”
The sales lady realized immediately that I had no idea what I really wanted nor even what I was looking at. Flat front or pleated, sir? Umm. . . which do you like better? That exchange pretty much set the tone for our transaction. She quickly steered me toward a couple of pairs of acceptable fancy pants, and without measuring me or asking my size she pulled the exactly correct one pair from the rack and then sent me to see the tailor. She instructed the tailor on the necessary changes (she jumped right in after hearing: Sir, how do you want cuff to break? Uh, normal?) and was good enough not to notice or at least comment on my expression as a small Korean woman was tugging at my crotch to ensure that the inseam hung correctly. Now that’s service.
