Coming up with baby names is fun but also difficult and a bit stressful. Despite my earlier proclamation it is unlikely that “Tank Wayne” will be on the birth certificate. And the nicknames already bestowed upon the boy (Wombstretcha, and now also, much to the CFO’s chagrin, Bladdapuncha) while fine, are not suitable as formal monikers. Where to come up with a name? Oddly enough, grandmothers from both sides of the family have been considered as name sources for our forthcoming boy. So have sisters, further out relatives, characters from books we like and the TV show Serenity. While we have no set answers yet, a few parameters have been established:

1. The new boy can’t be named after anyone the CFO or I knew at one point and didn’t like. Perfectly good names have been ruined because of people one of us went to high school or college with.

2. We (but mainly the CEO) have dorky relatives that have taken some good names. Several possibly acceptable candidate names were disqualified thusly.

3. Per the CFO, it is unacceptable to name the boy primarily for the purpose of having his initials spell “DOH”.

4. Similarly, naming the boy for the purpose of playing a joke on one of my sisters is also disallowed.

Those are some tough guidelines to work within, but I am confident we’ll come up with something suitable soon. It is a good feeling though knowing that we’ve got “Tank Wayne” in reserve.