Imagine if you will the CEO winning the Powerball, the Jr. VP winning both the Heisman and the Cy Young (in the same year), the CFO winning the Nobel (a real one, not the stupid Peace Prize), the Mariners winning the World Series and the Cougars winning the BCS. Combine that with a steady diet of South Park, Jack Bauer, Kobe steaks, Homer Simpson, fly fishing, Chuck Norris, single malt Scotch, major league baseball, Chinese sausage, golf at Edgefield, trips to the beach, Captain Ron Rico, beer pong, World Cup soccer, Ulysses Everett Mcgill, cheese, the Old Barn, gambling, college football, bacon (in all its glorious forms), and four kegs of Anderson Valley IPA. Over that whole mess imagine an extended Eddie Van Halen guitar solo with a certain one armed drummer backing him up.

The amount of awesomeness contained in the above scenario is roughly 1/10th the amount of awesomeness contained in the news the CEO learned the other day: The Chief Educator and * [his lovely roommate] are engaged to be married. Well done, Chief Educator. Well done.

* Frankly, I’m getting a little tired of having to block out her official Kjel.org title for national security reasons. I may start referring to her as The Chief Bride, at least for a little while.