Siddhartha Gautama was obviously on to something, and I think that I too may now also be a Buddha. I already have the belly for it, pre-installed. My awakening:

After Saturday’s Apple Cup debacle I fell into a deep funk, and ended up meditating for a while on the nature of WSU fandom. The gallon of beer and two pints of wine (thanks for the lovely evening Coos and Coos’s date; sorry about my mood. And for being the fat guy in shorts, tennis shoes and a WSU golf shirt among all your other cool hipster friends) consumed throughout the day may have given me an assist; my meditations eventually brought forth unto me the Four Noble Truths of WSU fandom. Similar but not identical to Sid’s original Four Noble Truths, and no less compelling:

The Four Noble Truths of WSU fandom:

1. Rooting for the Cougs means suffering.

2. The origin of suffering is the UW.

3. The cessation of suffering is unobtainable. Legally, anyway.

4. The path to the cessation of suffering involves fire-bombing the UW, and might be seen by some as overkill, even now.

It is a good thing too that I now have my own revelations, because there is just no way I can do anything with the great Buddha’s original list, especially #2: The origin of suffering is attachment. Well, no shit, Sid. And I’m supposed to do what with that? You expect the CEO to not root for the Cougs, and not care who wins the Apple Cup? Unlikely, Tubby. I mean, Great Awakened One. Very unlikely.

No Nirvana for the CEO I guess. This time around anyway.