There are certain days in any year that the CEO looks forward to as awesome, can’t miss-type days: The Superbowl. The Apple Cup. The Winter Beer Fest. New Years Eve. But there is one day better than all the rest: Summerfest, aka the opening of the Summer Season of beer pong at the Chief Educator’s house. The CEO has done crazy things at Summerfest since that party was first inaugurated. I have drunk my weight in Natural Light. I have fallen on ping pong tables and had them fold up on me, only to miraculously survive unscathed. I’ve made it out of Thriftway without being arrested, despite the fact that I was kicking seven cases of beer down the aisle and screaming in Spanish. (Side note: It seems counterintuitive, but the CEO’s command of foreign languages actually improves when he has had nine or ten beers. Just one of those things.)

As the years go by though, the party has taken on a different tone. Some of us will be bringing our kids. All of us are a little older, and with that age often comes additional maturity, or at least the realization that in polite company one must fake an elevated level of maturity. For example, I doubt anyone will break any chairs this weekend, or put on a viking helmet and run amok in the Educator’s backyard. We’ll probably all just sit or stand around, drinking responsibly, maybe watching some kids run through a sprinkler or something. We might as well start talking about our 401(k)’s, or how well our grandkids are doing, or the great episode of Matlock we caught on USA last night before falling asleep at quarter to eight.

On Saturday the CEO plans to rage against this dying of the light, and I urge all Kjel.org members and auxiliaries to do the same. I’ve got a big day planned, and it does not involve Bed Bath and Beyond. Or streaking for that matter, but anyway, as my man Humpty says, Let’s get stupid!