According to the Jr. VP, I am no longer allowed to touch the CFO if she is holding him, feeding him, looking at him, or otherwise attending to him in any fashion whatsoever. He will forcibly remove my hand from her if he sees me touch the CFO.

Just another step toward eventually murdering me, marrying the CFO, and finally putting his own eyes out. Makes me wish I’d never visited that stupid oracle in the first place.