Sorry for the recent lack of activity here at Kjel.org. The CEO has been busy as hell at work, having to, for several days in a row now, devote the vast majority if not the entirety of his work day to the actual performance of his job. What a major league drag. I don’t know how you people do it day in and day out. You guys are the real heroes, not me.
The icing on the cake though is that in addition to the CEO now having to actually earn his keep at the office, the entire HQ staff has been sick for more than a week. Jr. got it first, then the CFO a few days later. I thought I might have missed it, as I generally don’t get sick. For this ability to stave off disease I credit either Jesus, clean living, or the Three Stooges Syndrome. Whatever the reason, I am normally well nigh indestructible to most germs, but no such luck this time. I think I was around this bug for just too long, long enough that on Friday it was finally able to overwhelm my defenses. My policy of letting Jr. stick his hands in my mouth whenever he wants probably didn’t help me either. May need to revisit that one.
So, the CEO is sick as a dog. The CFO was able to stay home from work on Thursday and Friday and get a little rest when she was at her worst, but I cannot do that at work right now. I just hope I’m able to maintain and not be too intolerable to the boys down at the plant tomorrow. It can be very irritating having the guy one or two doors down cough all day, and I’ve no need to give my colleagues yet another reason to shun me.
This could be a good sign: I think I’m better today than I was Saturday, so maybe it’s the start of a trend. We’ll see how tomorrow goes, and how gross I am at work; hopefully less gross than I was this weekend. I’ve churned about a pint of lung butter over the last 48 hours, and I think I am about ready to be done with that. In fact, I’d really like to discontinue lung butter production before I get to my office. So if by tomorrow the churning has stopped and I am only blowing my nose and bitching about a sore throat, I’ll call that a victory, of sorts.
Here’s some bonus coverage of Monty Burns discovering that he too suffers from the Three Stooges Syndrome:
Doctor: Mr. Burns, I’m afraid you are the sickest man in the
United States. You have everything.
Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases
that have just been discovered — in you.
Burns: I see. You sure you haven’t just made thousands of
mistakes?
Doctor: Uh, no, no, I’m afraid not.
Burns: This sounds like bad news.
Doctor: Well, you’d think so, but all of your diseases are in
perfect balance. Uh, if you have a moment, I can explain.
Doctor: Here’s the door to your body, see?
And these are oversized novelty germs. [points to a
different one up as he names each disease] That’s
influenza, that’s bronchitis, [holds up one] and this cute
little cuddle-bug is pancreatic cancer. Here’s what
happens when they all try to get through the door at once.
[tries to cram a bunch through the model door. The
“germs” get stuck]
[Stooge-like] Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! Move it,
chowderhead!
[normal voice] We call it, “Three Stooges Syndrome.”
Burns: So what you’re saying is, I’m indestructible!
Doctor: Oh, no, no, in fact, even slight breeze could —
Burns: Indestructible.
