Sunday night I was on my deck cooking some steaks when I heard a rustling right behind me. I jumped and spun around. It was dark and rainy, and I had only a half-assed electric lantern outside with me. It did not put out enough light to penetrate the gloom. I could see big dark shapes, and heard something heavy moving, but couldn’t see what it was. Deer? Coyote? Sasquatch? Then they came closer . . .
Turned out that a family of these buggers was watching me and eyeing my dinner from only about 8 feet away:
Those rodents were looking to get some BBQ, but the CEO was not in a sharing mood. They were not at all afraid of me, that’s for sure: I illuminated them with my zillion candlepower spotlight (I call it Spotty) and they barely flinched. While standing between the meat and the family of thieves, I cracked open the kitchen door and asked the CFO to please run out to the garage and get me a 5 iron. She brought back a 3 wood. I shook my head. Women.
Once the vermin saw that I was armed they retreated, but I had a case of “Bionic Ear” for the rest of the night: every little rustle, every twig cracking, every leaf falling — I heard each sound very clearly. I only spun around in a kung-fu crouch for two or three of them though.
