The Mariners finally released Scott Spiezio the other day. Now, most baseball people will point to his nearly unprecedented level of suckitude over the past two seasons as the reason he was DFA’ed. But the M’s had already stuck with him for a length of time well beyond what sanity would indicate. Why now? What was the final tipping point prompting the organization and Spiezio’s teammates to say “goodbye”, “adios” and/or “sayanora” ?

I’ll tell you why: they got tired of Scott talking about his imaginary hot girlfriend back in California. “Uh, she’s like, a model. And you know, models are like totally busy. That’s why you’ve never actually seen her. I got these pictures of her though.” I don’t know how long this went on, but eventually someone (I like to imagine it was Richie Sexson) called bullshit on him: “Dude, give it up.” Not content then just to keep taking a page out of the George Costanza playbook and push the pictures, Scott went and got a tattoo of “Jenn”, his “girlfriend”. Wow. You can say this for Spiezio, he certainly understands how to keep a Big Lie going.

Anyway, the level of ass-hattery Spiezio displayed by getting that tattoo and saying it was of his model-girlfriend was the last straw. The M’s realized that he was never going to give it up, and just couldn’t take listening to him anymore.